Women's Conventions: A Close Shave?

Last week I spoke at the Massachusetts Governor's Conference for Women. It seems sort of retro that even today we still need conferences that are devoted just for women. But considering that we have plenty of unresolved issues, gathering thousands of women together en masse does seem to be a good thing.

I thought it was telling of how far we've come since our sisters a generation ago took the cause public. Those hairy-legged, bra burners demonstrating outside of courthouses have been replaced by women in suits at convention centers collecting goodie bags filled with fancy disposable razors that vibrate. Now that's female empowerment! (And the Venus razor did give me a nice, close shave this morning.)

As I've been on the governor's conference circuit, a tour that has taken me to red, blue, and purple states (this is my own political designation for those states that swing both ways), I realize more and more that all of us women want the same thing.

Women need to feel that whatever they do, whatever "choice" they make in motherhood, career and life, they are doing the right thing. We are all looking for validation. As I've traveled around the country, the stories I hear are powerful, and filled with plenty of "Oprah" moments where audience members often crumble in tears. These universal issues about how to be true to ourselves and 'present' for our families strike a nerve with all women regardless of age, ethnicity or voting record. It cuts to the core of who we are -- as women, mothers and daughters.

Last week, a young mom with a one year old stood up in front of fifty women and announced as she choked back tears, that she felt like a failure. She said she was in a job she adored and had a child whom she adored, but why then was it so hard, she asked. Why did she feel so guilty all of the time? Why did she constantly feel as if she was in conflict?

The truth is that there isn't a lot of support for mothers. For those who work outside of the home, the workforce is not structured to let you have a life. And for those who are at home - which by the way, is often not really by choice but by necessity (many moms can't work because their husbands are never home and someone needs to be there for the kids) - they also don't feel like they have lots of options. Why is it so hard? Lots of us are trying to answer this gazillion dollar question and come up with solutions. But the solutions are more complicated than we'd like to think. So I guess these conferences for women aren't nearly as obsolete as I had first thought. We still have a lot of work to do and as we do it, we might as well get a smooth shave.